Good Parenting - Do You Have The Necessary Skills?

To be a parent is not always an easy task, as it can take a lot out of a person. Parenting is about responsibility, patience and a lot of hard work. Good parents however, opt to spend lots of time with their children and always encourages them to do their very best. Great parents may also sacrifice things like free time, to provide for their children.

Good parenting is about nurturing a positive attitude within your children and steering away from negativities. This means trying not to use phrases like "listen to me as I am your parent". These type of words will not do anything to enhance the child's independence, as it sounds far too authoritarian. Children who can identify how or why they are going wrong will benefit only from positive encouragement. Kids can become rebellious at times especially when they do not comprehend what the parent is really saying.

An additional but normal parenting drawback is comparing the child with another sibling and berating the kid to be more like others. This is being unjust to the child who must actually be taught to grow up to be optimistic about life. Comments like "why can't you be more like your brother or sister" will cause sibling animosity and could have a detrimental effect on him or her for the rest of their lives.

Children are normally much terrified about what others feel and think about them. Good parenting requires the mother and father to acknowledge the good in their children and building better confidence in their lives from a very young age. Some parents also tend to tell their children to pull their lives together, but such remarks can cause the kid to keep away from expressing themselves.

It is therefore evident that by applying good parenting skills, you can make a real difference between having a child that is self-assured and self-reliant, and one who is a troubled or delinquent. As a parent, the choice is ultimately in your hands.

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Regards,

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Teaching Children About Discipline And Reward Systems

There tends to be an agreement by most parents that discipline in its more simplistic definition is highly desirable, but it is not so clear whether disciplining children is the best way to help them become more conscientious.

Numerous research papers seems to suggest that punishing children increases aggression and violence within them. Additional evidence also indicate that you acquire more influence with children when you give up trying to use power to control them.

Is it therefore not better that when having a choice between authoritarian control and permissiveness, adults should focus on building self-discipline through influence?

Authority can have multiple meanings, including that based on expertise, based on position or title, or even on power. Children especially, don’t respect power authority, even if they have to obey it, or whether it comes with the traditional reward-and-punish approach. Rewards and punishments are external controls; take away the control, and the behaviour modification disappears

Using rewards for behavior modification is difficult, given the need to reward consistently and almost instantaneously. If a reward seems too far removed in time, it will be less potent. In particular, you cannot prevent children from getting rewarded by others for unacceptable behavior

When children can acquire their own rewards, rewards no longer work for behaviour modification, as it have to be felt as attainable, or children will give up and stop striving

Did the above remind you of your own child, or that of a family friend in your neighbourhood. Are you concerned that you might be losing the war on self-discipline when it comes to children?

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Thanks and Good Luck,

Gerard.